Key Take-Away:
· Gender definitions vary by culture and time period
· Gendered expectations of men and women are harmful to both themselves and gender nonconforming people
· Changing our approach to gender can create more freedoms and independence for everyone
The title of this post may be a deterrent but stick with it because this is not just for an LGBT audience. Gender nonconformity does not just apply to genderqueer identities, it applies to our behavior as people too.
Gender is a system of roles, expressions, identities, performances, and qualities that are given meaning by society. These things can vary by time period and culture. However, gender is usually assigned at birth and is based sex characteristics. An important thing to know here is that 1.7 percent of the population is intersex, meaning they do not have distinctly male or female characteristics and often have forms of both.
Differences in Expectations
Education opportunities is one of the easiest places to start because it is more widely discusses. For many girls and women worldwide, education is not a guaranteed and they are often prevented from attending school, even at a young age. This makes it difficult for girls and women to earn a living or have a chance to be independent because their skills are limited to domestic tasks which are often unpaid or underpaid. In some countries, women cannot perform these tasks outside their homes, making independence impossible.
In western societies where education is more stable for girls and women this opportunity can become a “double duty” that men are not always expected to fill. Starting around the 1970s, at least in the U.S., more women began working outside the home. However, they still had to take care of the house, their children, and often their husbands. While fathers might take care of the outside work on weekends and snow days, the load of daily indoor chores and children still gave mothers an overflowing cup. (See Where The Girls Are by Susan Douglas).
It is worth mentioning that this is not always the case today, but even in households where both parents work and help at home, women still tend to have more responsibility than their male partners.
The Forbidden Word: Patriarchy
The western idea of gender roles reinforces a patriarchy, a term I know many people are tired of hearing. However, these standards are not just harmful to women as they also hurt men more often than is discussed. It is based on a belief that men have an inherent right to control and that women should be submissive and selfless. This prioritizes stereotyped “masculine” traits (stoicism, self-reliance, rationality) over stereotyped “feminine” attributes (emotional sensitivity, selflessness, rationality).
There are multiple problems with this.
· It gives men the right to control women and often men deemed “weaker”
· The idealized traits of men and women do not actually exist in real people
· It pushes the idea that some people are better than others based on uncontrollable factors such as sex
o It also alienates people outside the gender binary making them lower than women are because they do not have a set place in the hierarchy
So why is gender nonconformity not just for queer folks?
If we only look at gender nonconformity as something that only applies to LGBT people and identities, then we are missing an important part of what gender nonconformity is about.
A big part of it is redefining gender roles and expectations because as previously described it is harmful to everyone, not just women or LGBT individuals. There is also more variation based on racial, ethnic and religious backgrounds as well. By removing the harmful gendered hierarchy people would have more mobility in their respective cultures and society.
By approaching gender nonconformity as behavior based and not just personal identity, we can change how society approaches gender norms and expectations creating more individual freedoms and independence both personally and socially.